Blind Deaf and Dumb Dating

Many of you have had a friend fix you up at some point in your life.  I have been on blind dates where I have had no firsthand knowledge of my companion.  In today’s world where Tinder and Match.com exist, people are blindly reaching for strangers more than ever before.

The term blind date brings to mind other images: a sightless soul tenderly reaching towards the outline of your person, humbly feeling for boundaries and trying to establish a connection.  More often than not however, these hasty encounters have the reputation for being deaf and dumb as well.  Your partner does not hear what you are trying to say.  Your companion has no idea how to have a conversation.  It can be an experience like no other, as if two handicapped blindfolded individuals stumble around, and bump into awkward blocks that may or may not yield romance.  Comic tales of these encounters are a dime a dozen. How can you lift your experience from the comic to the sublime? Start by spending time.

A woman in my neighborhood is going to marry an acquaintance after knowing him for a period of ten days.  Yup, you heard it right: a fortnight.  She feels their souls have been waiting and finally found each other. Call me a cynic, but I have changed my mind about all manners of things after ten days.  I hate a dress I bought a month ago and after six weeks now wish to change my exercise regimen. How deeply can you know another person after ten days?  Using water as reference point, “about as deep as a mud puddle.”

I understand the concept of love at first sight.  But why the hurry?  What is the rush? Yes you may be the rare exception that proves the rule. I am open to the possibility. This could be a forever thing. You argue that you are excited and will discover all in time.  Well marriage, at least ideally speaking, will give you all the time you could possibly want, but is there a problem in trying to make an educated choice? Could you not spare time now to look a little deeper before leaping ? Are you sure you want to legally tie yourself and your child (yes, there is a child) to a virtual unknown?  To me, you are putting the cart before the horse!  Slow down. Think as well as feel.

Dating is an adventure . There are no guarantees in life, even with added time.  Love is full of stories.  I met my husband because my mother called the police on him.  She was in the wrong and felt so bad she made him homemade doughnuts and sent me to deliver them. Who knew we would eventually marry?  I say eventually because we took time to really talk, we broke up, we got back together.  We laughed, argued and established respect and boundaries.  More than thirty years later he is still my best friend, laughing partner and truly my other half. Marrying him was the best decision I ever made.

It would definitely not have lasted had I gone into it blind, deaf and dumb. Technology has opened up so many new ways to meet people. Explore new territories with your internet dates.  Give your relationships opportunities and  real time. Don’t settle or shortchange yourself. Jump the puddle and share an ocean.  Know who you are committing your life to.  Remove the strangeness from the stranger before accepting him as your other half.  Build trust.  Love smart. I know I am not a love guru.  I don’t pretend to have all the answers.  Love remains our enduring mystery. We each choose how it comes to us.  I simply recommend that a tiny piece of practicality exist alongside your earth shattering romance.  Blind is tough enough.  Deaf and dumb is no way to start sharing a life.

blindfold

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s